Dead Horse’s Blood Sacrifice

I've picked up this sort of flu that won’t go away.

Born to let it ebb and flow through my body, but always slightly there.

It’s a sort of disease that makes me feel like I should rip off my skin

As if I’d feel better without it.

Oppressed so small

that the light from my eyeholes gleams onto the tiny tiny self left inside my body.

Apparently I share this body with that mass of microorganisms bearing a lions mane.

I look up to this flu, for I can only feel better after I feel worse.

I suppose it is here to make me appreciate this life.

Sometimes I feel like I can make my own decisions when the flu is nice and lets me be.

I know, deep down, this flu is only as bad as i let it get,

But i cant help but leave myself defenseless.

The fresh breeze misses me and combs through that mane.

And it looks so beautiful.

Symbiotic are we. Always compared and never beating it.

I resent this illness tied to my heart strings.

I am controlled indefinitely, and I want my mommy.

She’s dances for this devil, trying not to let it suffocate her with my strings.

Don’t move. She’ll see me.

Judge from miles away in her underdeveloped emotional state.

Sick again, she’s beating down the little immunity I have left.

I know I’ll feel better when she feels better.

I forgive you i forgive you i forgive you i forgive you i forgive you

“Tell me what to do to fix this” as she takes the hammer and slams my gut.

“Cause idk what you get mad at” as she empties my insides onto the floor.

“Why do you hate me” and I’m gasping through the blood in my throat.

“I just want you back” as she kicks a dead horse.

Bleed me into a chalice.

We tear into the wound together, leaving beautiful scars across my ugly skin.

She sips that chalace and the red compliments her.

I suture my wounds and breath life back into my dead body, so short of decay.

I forgive you. I can’t help it. Neither can you.

One day you will be my pillar.

Beautiful and admirable still, but holding me above your head and letting me sing.

Letting me feel as good as you want me to. As you say you want me to.

Hearing me and telling me I’m good.

Tell me I have nothing is worry about.